Gotcha Day Discussion
What day did your family choose to celebrate Gotcha Day?? Which event during the process symbolized the most meaning to your family? Just interested to hear everyone's opinions.
"Nowadays, many families celebrate the day their child was adopted. Families vary in what they call it: Gotcha Day, Adoption Day, Family Day, Adoption Anniversary Day.
There is no one "right" day to select as your adoption day. It might be the first time you and your child met, the day you went to court, the day your child got home, or the day the adoption was finalized. The idea is to celebrate the special aspects of how your family was created and/or expanded."
- Cortney
posted by The Stone's @ 12:26 PM
17 Comments
17 Comments:
We definitely will celebrate April 15th as Gotcha Day/Adoption Day. This was the day we touched down on American soil with Ava. The road was so rocky for us up until that day. Even after the wonderful day that we got to take her home from the orphanage, there were delays, stressful times, etc. SO, we will celebrate the day we arrived home b/c that was TRULY TRULY when we could say, it's all over...we are home with our child and she is ours forever at long last!
This is a great question and one I struggle with too. I have at least 6 months to figure it out. We met our son on December 14, had our court date on Feb. 3rd (but with the appeal period it was really official 15 days later on Feb. 18). March 15, we took custody and then on March 23, we arrived home to the US and were reunited with our two waiting daughters. So in a sense, I think my heart felt finally complete on March 23rd when we were finally together as a family. I wonder as the days go on what date will hold more significance.
Best wishes to you!
We chose our court date when the judge granted us the adoption --- Whatever day you pick would be right for you!
For us the day we started bonding holds a special place as it is our wedding anniversary (it was 10 years). Sure the court date was important, but I think for us September 12 when we arrived home and all 5 of us were together will be a special day for us. I would like to celebrate it as family day or do something special.
My gotcha day would be Court Day -12th January.
I was terrified in court...and after the judge had been out deliberating for an hour...I was actually starting to pace up and down. When the judge came back in all I heard was 'blah blah blah ...granted' after that I was a blubbering mess!!
It was a very difficult adoption (she tested positive to TB...and so then we had 2 mths of Kaz Hospital beaurocracy), so the relief was enormous! But I agree that it isn't ever quite over until you actually leave Kaz with your child.
We keep all our Kaz dates as important ....Meetcha day is when we met him, Gotcha day is when we got custody of him and took him out of the baby house, and home forever day is the day we got home. We talk about the Meetcha and home forever days but we actually "celebrate" his Gotcha day by taking him somewhere fun....he especially enjoys water parks. He was 3 when we brought him home so he kind of knows, especially by pictures, how everything progressed. It is amazing how everyone does it differently. I just read the other day how an adoptee said when they were older they "hated" Gotcha celebrations because they felt different....it made me wonder but I think we will always just talk about how special he is and if there comes a time where he doesn't want a public display or big party then we will be sensitive to that too. So much to think about but so wonderful!
For us, Family Day is the day we were granted custody; the day we had sole responsibility 24/7. Even though we spent another 21 days in Kazakhstan, we spent it there as a family and we had no doubts that we would make it home together as a family.
Our first Family Day is coming soon and so right now we are reliving many of the meaningful milestones of a year ago, but we will hold Family Day as the day of purposeful celebration and Thanksgiving for miracles that brought us together out of the separate tragedies and losses that sent each of us down the path toward each other.
Good luck to you on your journey.
As you know, there is no right answer to this. For us, we've decided to celebrate the day we all touched down in the US (June 17th). I guess we felt this was the day we truly started our new life together (our 9 weeks in Kaz was such a blur and mix of emotions). It was also the day our friends and family got to finally meet Ethan and Alex, which added to the 'Family' part. No need to rush this decision - you'll have almost a year to figure it out!!! :)
Actually, our 1st Family Day is coming up this Thursday!!!
This past year we celebrated on Oct. 20th which was the day we met Adam. We were lucky in the fact that we - or at least I knew as my husband wanted to take ALL the kids - that Adam was our son. I also was so caught up in everything that did not even think about the fact that something COULD go wrong. But we also kind of celebrate on the day he came home - Dec. 14th - more as our "homecoming day" - So I guess he really has TWO days! We had alot of discussion about this in our family and my mother said to just celebrate from Oct. THRU Dec....ha ha! Since D is a little older you might actually be able to ask him for his in put! Once Adam is over we will ask him what he wants to do on those days. There is alot of discussion about "gotcha" days in the adoption world and how the children may feel about it but until Adam tells us or expresses that he does not want to recognize the day - we will celebrate as a family.
Hope things are going well for you guys! Loved the story of you two working together...in the same room....we could not work while in Kaz as we are both teachers - ha ha! Take care!
I thought I would want to our court date as Gotcha Day, but once I took custody, I realized what a VERY special that day was, above all others. So, we celebrate Gotcha Day on Halloween! I am sure we will also celebrate September 4 too!
Andrea & Anelya
For whatever reason, our Family Day is the day we all arrived home. We definitely have mention of the other days, but the day we arrived home was the most meaningful. The day we met was great, but I was so overwhelmed, and in the Kaz process there was still a lot of risks. Court day too is a big milestone, but with the waiting process, I still didn't feel like the adoption was a "sure thing." Gotcha day should have been super special- we were legally a family, and we were now able to spend 24/7 with her, but we were new parents, and everything was stressful and overwhelming until we started to figure things out. Plus, there was part of me that was a bit paranoid. We still weren't out of the country with our daughter. The day we touched down on US soil and became a US citizen, when immigration allowed her into the country, and when we finally walked into our home as a family of 3 after being gone for so long... that was the sweetest moment. Joy, relief, pride, love, peace, contentment. Not to mention, both of our families were there to join us in that celebration which made it even more sweet and special.
Family day is our forever home day.
All the dates (meeting, court, custody, etc.) of course hold great significance, and we haven't had our daughter home for much more than 6 months as well, so we'll have to see how this works out. But I'm thinking the meeting day maybe not celebrated too much at all (although maybe kind of a reflective/AHHHHH day for my DH and me - as that's how we felt that day - SO long to get to her and then FINALLY it was us together and it just felt right - no doubts, no fanfare, just yup, here we are TOGETHER, finally:). The court date is the same day as my MILs birthday (which she is thrilled about) so I'm guessing we'll keep that more as her day than do much with our daughter. But then the date I took custody was Nov. 30th and I get teary just thinking about it....we spent that whole next 4 days or so alone together save just an hour or two a day w/friends in country/doing doc and embassy appointments, so it was great mommy/daughter time. So I think Nov. 30th should be a mom/daughter date day every year - to go our for coffee or ice cream or whatever before the Christmas rush takes off. Then Dec. 4 is the day we arrived home. Considering we had my husband and 4 sons at home CHOMPING AT THE BIT for our daughter to get there/us to FINALLY be together as a family/them to meet her (3 of our sons hadn't yet), that is definitely the day our whole family will forever celebrate - Family Day (and she, we believe, is our last kid, so very appropriate name for the day - the day our family became complete). I don't know what we'll do for it every year (as Thanksgiving is before, one of the boys' birthdays shortly after, Christmas, New Years, DH and my anniversary - BUSY time!) but we'll do something special. As for the adopted child feeling weird because that is a day that they have that other "normal" people don't, if you celebrate it as the day they arrived home and it involves siblings, grandparents, etc. it is more about FAMILY than them alone, you know? I think that's how we are going to do it at least.
Sorry I wrote such a long comment. Great question!
Shan in CO
My Pavlodarian princess was adopted on Christmas Day. We are Jewish so we don't celebrate Christmas but I knew she would be stuck at home with me on that night forever so it became our Family Day :-) I actually took custody the next day so our days are close together.
This set the pattern in our family so we celebrate my Semey Sweethearts Family Day on court day even though she too was released in my custody the next day.
Shanna
We've decided to celebrate the day Cody arrived in the U.S. It is our "Brothers Day"! The first day our 2 boys met....finally!
Feb. 18th
We had court on Christmas morning and got our decision immediately. I always felt that Anna was our Christmas Angel.. so we plan on celebrating on that day, with special meals and russian customs at Christmas...That being said... we have also "celebrated" every month since we have had her in our custody (almost 6 months now!). You'll know it in your hearts.. and after all.. every day is a celebration ;0)) Jocelyne
For us the day we met Nina is our special day. Like seeing your newborn baby for the first time it was amazing. The rest of the process was just process...but she was ours in that first minute.
Interesting to see the different takes on this! I use the day I met my daughter, as for me I knew that no matter what happened from there forward she was my duaghter!
Congratulations on a positive court decision!!!!
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home